Every day I show up to work in the morning an hour before the shop opens. I do super glamorous things like mop the floor and take out the garbage. And just before we open I put out this huge sign.
This morning while I was putting it up I glanced down the sidewalk and saw a strange old man standing about half a block away staring at me. I guess there was nothing particularly strange about him other than the fact that he was just … standing there. Staring.
People always look in the tattoo shop windows as though we’re goldfish in a bowl and I’m fairly used to being a minor spectacle when I’m working, so I paid this man no mind. A lot of people are just curious about what tattoo artists (and their receptionists!) look like. Whatevs.
I went back inside and started working, answering phones or what have you, and the door opened. It was the old man. I figured he was going to either a) be lost and looking for directions, b) be a cool old sailor who wanted to talk about the last time he got a tattoo at some port in Hawaii or c) be someone who had never seen a tattoo done and just wanted to come in and look around.
Well no. I was wrong on all counts. He walked in, ignored my greeting and my eye contact, and handed me this.
He was d) a religious asshole.
I thought about this a lot today because it actually bothered me more than I’d care to admit. I feel defensive and offended and, well, judged!
Not that it’s anybody’s business but I’ll have you know I like to entertain the idea of all sorts of religions, and I also unabashedly love black metal and sing along about Satan in my pentagram shirt. I guess , if pressed, I’d consider myself a non-practicing mostly-agnostic skeptical Buddhist. Humans are nothing but a mass of contradictions and I am no exception.
So I am offended by this ridiculous piece of paper. What does this man know? And who the fuck does he think he is coming into my place of work and handing me this? I mean REALLY who is doing the judging here? I have nothing to “repent” for. I’m a good person. Get out of my face.
Then again I was wearing a Slayer t-shirt today so… was I asking for it ? haha Get it? Sluts. Right guys? Good times.
So anyway as he turned and walked away I said in my most sarcastic voice “Oh yeah. Thanks a lot.” because I suck at comebacks.
And that was the start of my day.