random ranting and raving

I’ve been having urges to quit blogging again. Normally I’d just do it if I wanted to do it but I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t have a blog to write in. I’d probably end up starting a new one in a week and being bummed that I lost all my followers. Again.

I suppose paper journals would become more important to me, but I just think of them as supplementary doodle books and photo holders. In this digital age, with my digital photos and my words that take 1/10 the time to type than print I feel like maybe I would hate just writing it out. You can’t delete entire sentences and copy and paste and so my paper journals end up reading like an eleven year old wrote them.

Do you ever just think … what’s the point of all these digital photos if not to blog them? I have albums and albums of pretty pictures I’ve taken. What would I do with them if not put them online somewhere? Serious question.

I can’t keep a private journal on my computer either, it’s too strange and I feel like “what will I do with this once I’m finished writing it all out?” I’d just delete it.

Eh I’ll think about it some more.

I have also been consistently applying for grown-up jobs for about five or six months now, averaging around one or two serious like, fancy pants cover letter customized resume application per week.

I always feel like I have to justify this decision if I put it out there in the internet. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the job I have now and I have tons of fun and love my bosses and the people I work with bla bla bla. It’s just that personally I feel there are some fundamental goals and accomplishments I would like for myself in a job that I can’t achieve working as a receptionist in a tattoo shop. Also health benefits would be awesome. *sigh* dental coverage.

So anyway I’ve been TRYING. Really really really trying. Putting my heart out there a billion times and only one place, in these entire six months, has even bothered to respond with anything. Everyone else has not even acknowledged my existence. Positive or negative or anything. Just. Nothing. The person who responded was from a local radio station and I was so stoked just to hear “no” I actually wrote him a thank you letter for saying no to me.

When I think about the effort I’ve put into job searching and applications and everything it makes me more grateful that at least I have somewhere to go every day that pays me to be there. And it’s somewhere fun. It’s kind of a cycle. I’ll go through a period of complete bliss with my life and then want more, try hard and fail and be glad I have what I have all over again.

That flu that’s going around? Yeah I have it. I’m on day five and am going to try to go into work today, if not for a full day, at least to get my work done. Now I’m trying to decide which drugs will be the best to help me cough less on the bus because I do not want to be that guy.

Okay I’m done being a total downer today. Coming soon: LINKS

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