30 (not SUPER expensive) Christmas gift ideas for those who have everything

It may seem early for any type of gift guide, but have you looked at website’s shipping time estimations? Um, get ordering online gifts now, friends.You’re looking at a minimum of three weeks at some places.

I found all of these things here. And there’s plenty more stuff to look at there if you’re so inclined.

1. A light-up message board for the back window of their car. Displays feelings and words. haha

2. The scorpion jacket from the movie Drive.

3. The SOL survival tool. Come on, everyone loves getting knives and tools as gifts and you know it.

4. Edible food spray paint. WEIRD!

5. A cute little zombie creation kit.

6. RAGE FACE MASKS! Why didn’t I know about these for Halloween?

7. A water purifying straw. Neat!

8. Pizza shirt.And pizza scissors. You could make a gift pack.

9. Kevlar socks. (Warning: the website auto-blasts heroic music at you upon arrival.) I also like these pencil socks.

10. Glow in the dark nail polish.

11. A spray can duffle bag.

12. Camera Lens coffee mug.

13. Gameboy iPhone cases.

14. Suitcase picnic table.

15. Play-Doh scented cologne.

16. Minesweeper scratch cards.

17. Novelty penis towel.

18. Offensive business cards.

19. A water bottle with a compartment to hold your stuff. Or an easy clean water bottle. Practical.

20. Umbrellas with sword handles.

21. Caffeinated soap.

22. Dress pant sweatpants.

23. Jellyfish floating lights.

24. Star Wars cookie cutters.

25. Zombie bird feeder.

26. Endless edges lasagna pan.

27. The never-soggy cereal bowl.

28. A fire coloring kit. Just like a wizard!

29. Insanely hot gummy bears.

30. Pen cap eating utensils. For those who eat at their desk.

And just for the fun of it here are forty ridiculous (and ridiculously expensive) awesome gifts. 

1. A JAWS ukelele.  I also like the apple and the atom.Similar: skull violins.

2. Lord of the Rings Sauron armor. Similar: giant steel sword.

3. Killer whale submarine.

4. A cocoon to hang out in.

5. The ultimate swiss army knife. LOL

6. A Captain America motorcycle suit.

7. A baby t-rex costume.Or maybe you’d rather have a life-sized t-rex sculpture.

8. The “hot tug” – a hot tub boat with a name that sounds like a hand job.

9. Human bowling ball game.

10. Flying hovercraft.

11. This is the coolest thing ever: 3D photo printing booth.

12. A jet pack.

13. Inflatable climbable iceberg.

14. LEGO Taj Mahal set.

15. A mobile land fortress that’s named “badonkadonk”.

16. A Deadmau5 replica helmet. Similar: The Daft Punk helmet.

17. Functional mermaid tails.

18. The ice cube sphere maker. If I were rich I’d get this.

19. Chocolate skulls for $350. WHY?

20. The world’s largest Scrabble board.

21. The Game of Thrones Iron Throne. Life sized!

22. A floating playground.

23. A privacy bed for … camping? I guess?

24. An underground parking dock.

25. Iron Man stained glass window.

26. A glowing driveway. Actually I love this.

27. Lampshade of the damned. WHY???? I knowit’s not easy to see the price on this. Um. $45,000.

28. Bedroom fort playhouse.

29. A backyard theatre system.

30. Aquarium bed.

31. Royal toilet throne.

32. Whiskey barrel coffee table. I love this, actually. And these. Just can’t afford them.

33. Bookcase doorway. Sigh.

34. The levitating lamp.

35. Modern dog house.

36. (disgusting) barnacle ceiling lamp.

37. Waterproof pool table.

38. Pumpkin carriage bed.

39. This earth shaped fire pit is pretty bananas.

40. Barbecue dining boat.

Now imagine the types of people who own these things. hahahaha

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