I wrote out a very very negative post yesterday morning and then deleted it. It felt good. I made a conscious choice not to dwell on the things that were making me angry any more than I already had. But here’s a picture of the board game I paid $500 to make so what I’m saying is I guess I’m still kind of mad.
But at least I finished the course and got the piece of paper saying I did it and that’s something I can throw on a resume or whatever. That’s something! Next up on the list…ordering transcripts from all my alma maters.
This past week in my life there was…
Music: I’ve been listening to a lot of Graveyard, Skeletonwitch, Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats and most recently Pallbearer. All stoner and doom lately. I find it funny how much I like “stoner” rock AND live in B.C. considering I hate smoking pot. It’s like an oxymoron.
Stress Level: Because of that weird teambuilding seminar I had to take, my schedule ended up working out so I was working 13 days straight and actually still missing 2 full days of work (and pay!). You know how people sometimes get sick after working super hard for a while? Well last night I had a pretty bad panic attack when I was just sitting there on the couch with Ryan, and I think that might have been kind of the same thing. I allowed my body to react to the stress I had been feeling once I allowed myself to relax. It was unpleasant, let me tell you something. But I woke up this morning feeling awesome. I slept in until 10 and only got up then because I felt bad for the dog.
Books: I am reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern right now and you should too! It’s excellent. I just finished Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda and hated it. I actually said to someone at work that if the author mentions that having a baby is the only true expression of womanhood or whatever bullshit crap again I was going to snap. I read the entire thing because I was on the bus a lot and had no other books to read but MAN it was annoying. One good thing I will say was the descriptions of the Indian get togethers and death ceremonies. Those held my attention. But the freaking stuff about mothers and bla bla bla puke.
School Goals: I already told you about my next step in getting into that school…I still have a long way to go to even be able to attend, even if I’m accepted I have to find a way to fund it AND a way to get there and back every day because it’s in a completely different city about 1.25 hours away. That sounds far, and it is, but guess what? It’s a shorter commute than I have right now so when you think of it that way it’s not too bad. Plus I’ll be in my own car, not dealing with bus idiots and the outdoor weather.
Fitness: I bought a gym pass that will last me through August, and want to continue the way I’ve been doing…going around three times a week, challenging myself slowly and taking care not to hurt my busted-ass feet or overdo it. I am really out of shape, guys! My actual fitness goal is not “to get skinny” or “to lose __ pounds”, it’s actually pretty basic: I want to be able to participate in things that sometimes spontaneously come up. If my friends want to climb a mountain or go for a bike ride, I don’t want to be the most tired one. I want to just participate and have fun, not worry that my face is red and I can’t catch my breath.
Wants and Wishes: I really want to keep working on doing things that are good and right, even if they are small things. I want to walk the dog when he’s antsy, clean the bathroom before it gets to gas-station-level gross, make sure I’m taking full responsibility for my duties and mistakes, and maintain a healthy-ish lifestyle. I also want to have fun. I want to save money rather than spend it all the second I get it. I want to get a nice haircut. I want to feel excited about something. I haven’t felt excited about something in a long time and that makes me feel sad…maybe I’ll make that another goal of mine. Do something exciting.
So…what have you been up to?