"Engrish Penis Enhancement E-Mails"

In exploring my external hard drives I found a word document entitled “Engrish Penis Enhancement E-Mails”.

No idea why I wanted to save these, but they were in a folder with a couple short stories so I assume it was going to be part of a story?? Anyway, yeah. Here you go. Penis enhancement catch phrases, for your pleasure. Or hers. Bazinga.

She will moan of your skill
• Secrets of fresh emotions have sex
• Steel instead of meat
• Get steady bed progress
• Be her insatiable Sultan
• You will be desired by any woman walking buy
• Does your intimate desire need a boost?
• Repair your main tool
• Magnify libido and pleasure now
• She will beg for porking
• Break lovemaking world records
• A small member is a big yoke for everyone
• Want to see her happy tears?
• She will be always fainting to see your pants anaconda
• A beauty for your eyes your mega giant size
• You can kick other man with your stick
• The wonderfulness of the night will not be spoiled by the limpness of you weapon
• Turn into super-macho
• Girls won’t dump you
• Your insatiable chick will be full of your pleasure
• Your little friend down there is too young to retire
• How many orgasms can maan do?
• Get King Kong in pants
• Increase your manhood by swallowing just one little pill
• Make her worship you
• Real sexual preparations which always work
• Be at the front of loving mastery
• A monster power that she will hardly handle
• 9 inches is now 1 day away
• You see your erection only in your dreams
Yep. Uh…I’m gonna go ahead and delete that file now. 
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