(It’s 8:30 in the morning.)
Me: (Just making conversation.) What time do you guys open?
Super Italian Coffee Shop Owner: Seven thirty. What time do you open?
Italian guy: So what are you doing here?
Me: Well, somebody stole our mailbox and on Friday the mailman got mad at me so I thought I should get here before he does.
Italian guy: Why did he get mad at you?
Me: I think it wrecked his whole morning routine.
Italian guy: (in super thick Italian accent) Well I’m-a mad at him. He-a keeps-a bringing me bills.
Do you ever walk away from a conversation and think about how weird and funny it is?
And now I’m sitting here at the tattoo shop, hours early, with all the blinds drawn, even though it’s still dark out so all the passers-by and looky-loos can look right in at me, so I can see when the mailman comes.
And I taped a sign where the mailbox used to be that says “I’m here, mailman.” With a smiley face underneath.
Uh, yeah. This is my life. ?