Disclaimer: I totally don’t get hockey pools and don’t know the correct terminology and/or the way teams and grouping goes. Bear with me, hockey fans.
Ryan: This one team in my hockey pool, is named “Ian has”
Me: Go on. (feigning interest)
Ryan: And then the next team is named “Penis Breath” and then the next one is named “And Balls on his Chin”. Come see! It’s funny.
Me: Okay! (walks over to his computer and looks) Ha ha! That is funny! Oh…and the group they’re in is called “Our Wives Take it Fist Deep”.
Me: Ha…ha? Wait, I wonder if their wives kno…ARE YOU ON THAT TEAM?
Ryan: No! I’m Darth Skater, I’m there with “the Cobras”.
Hockey talk runs wild in our house 8-12 months of the year. It’s insane. I’m considering learning all the player’s names and watching every single game so I know what these conversations are about because honestly? I’m confused like 40 percent of the time Ryan is around his kids. Out of nowhere they’re like:
“Hey papa, is Hockey McPlayerson a better defense than Puckman Shootsalot?”
“Hey, they said the year 1927 on T.V. That’s the same year that Iceface Toothsmissing got that goal in Russia when they were playing against the Chicago Polar Bears, and then he was traded in 1931 for exactly this sum of money in September.”
“Do you wanna trade my rookie Skateguy Jerseyson for Roofdaddy Gretzky? His statistics are exactly…”
Etcetera. It’s insane. They know every single thing about every single guy. And I’m all like “whaaat?” or when it’s the kids I say something like “Good memory” and pat them on the head and then turn back to my laptop cuz that’s how I roll.
Just kidding but man…hockey. Everywhere.
My little brother just made it to the AAA hockey league. Which is awesome, it’s kind of like the first step to going further with hockey, if you know what I’m saying.
I don’t even know what I’m saying.
Me: What’s that hockey thing Jaden made it to?
Me: You know, that good level? Of hockey?
Ryan: Triple A
Me: And how do I say that?
Ryan: Three A’s. Like, A. A. A.
Me: Yeah but is it like “triple A level”? Or like, “triple A team”?
Ryan: (sighs) League.
Me: Oh yeah, thanks! (bats eyelashes, thinks of unicorns)
Anyone else living with hockey crazed lunatics?