encyclopediae woes

Say you were walking down the street one day and found an entire set of encyclopedias.

What would you do?

Would you

A) Keep on walkin’ because old roadside books are gross and smell bad and maybe have a spider web in the box that you might find later.

B) Stop, look, lament the fact that a perfectly good set of learnin’ books are on the side of the road and then wistfully leave them there, gazing back every few steps, but being realistic because, you know what? You have the internet. Who needs encyclopedias?

C) Panic, call your boyfriend asking him to leave the kids home alone so he can bring the car to where you are standing guard against the billions of other people who are obviously going to come snatch the books out from under your watchful gaze.

And so then maybe you chose ‘C’, and got the books back to your house. You cleared two entire shelves off for the encyclopedias. You got rid of the old boxes. You decided the books didn’t really smell like mildew like you had feared.

What do you do when you realize, a month later, that you really don’t want them? They’re useless. You can’t shake the thought that they’re dirty, old, smelly and spidery. They’re taking up tons of space and they’re heavy. You can’t admit this fact to your boyfriend, who owns the car, because of the huge fuss you made about really really wanting them.

How do you get rid of them?

Do you

A) Admit you were wrong, and ask for his help bringing them to the dump?

B) List them on Craigslist as ‘free, you pick up’, making them out to be much better than they really are on the internet to trick somebody into taking them away?

or C) Systematically take one at a time and dump it in a different garbage can every time over a few months, and also place one in everybody’s recycling bin late at night to get the recycling guys to take them away.

Of course, this is all hypothetical.

But seriously, what would you do?

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6 thoughts on “encyclopediae woes

  1. Hahaha, first of all, I would have done C and lugged them all home with me for sure. Hypothetically speaking, I think that the same answer cannot apply to the second question because it's sacrilege to throw out books! If you go for B, won't… I mea, wouldn't one's boyfriend wonder where they were? I guess one has to rely on a sense of humour- make a joke out of it. Cook his favourite food or something.

    I type too much.

  2. Hahaha, first of all, I would have done C and lugged them all home with me for sure. Hypothetically speaking, I think that the same answer cannot apply to the second question because it's sacrilege to throw out books! If you go for B, won't… I mea, wouldn't one's boyfriend wonder where they were? I guess one has to rely on a sense of humour- make a joke out of it. Cook his favourite food or something.

    I type too much.

  3. He read this and said he's not helping, so I'm going to try sneaking one into the neighbor's recycling bin and see what happens.

    It'll be like I'm part ninja because I'll be wearing black probably in the night time, and part detective. How exciting!

  4. He read this and said he's not helping, so I'm going to try sneaking one into the neighbor's recycling bin and see what happens.

    It'll be like I'm part ninja because I'll be wearing black probably in the night time, and part detective. How exciting!

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