One of the worst things I’ve found about getting tattooed on the back of your thigh is that for, oh, three days now, sitting down is a pain in the (almost) ass. Walking too. And don’t even get me started on using the bathroom. (Hint: it’s a real balancing act up in there lately.)
And the clothing sticking was out of control for a while too. If you’ve ever gotten a fair-sized tattoo, I’d say anything with solid coloring that’s palm-sized or larger, you’ll be able to relate. For those who haven’t, I’ll explain.
As your body heals, your giant fresh wound secretes a bunch of plasma (white blood cells). And it’s all … moist … for a day or two. Also? It’s healing and trying to form scabs and new skin. And during this phase, if you, say, wear pants…they’ll kind of partially heal into your body.
Okay, not really. I’m being overly dramatic, but they stick to the drying plasma.
And then you have to peel your clothing off of your very sore new tattoo.
Thursday, the day after I was tattooed with something fairly large, I wore a nice breezy skirt for maximum airflow and the minimal touching of my leg that it does. It was awesome until I sat down on the bus. I tried to casually skooch my butt forward on the seat so none of my thigh touched…anything, but being that I have such short legs, it kind of left me so hunkered down in my seat that my neck was bent at a right angle and my back curved in a big C.
So I thought “Hey, just sit kind of normally, and cross the sore leg over the other leg. It’s cool.”
Yeah, all good until my stop came up half an hour later and I stood up and my skirt was fused into my leg.
Every time something like that happens I panic for a moment. What if my skirt is stuck there forever? What if I pull it off and my tattoo comes off with it? I hope nobody can tell what’s going on here, because it’s really gross.
I peeled it off (painfully) and limped my way off the bus and to work.
Multiple stick and peels later, I noticed my skirt was feeling kind of stiff.
I’ll let that sink in for a moment.
My skirt was feeling stiff. From my leg goo getting on it and drying.
I felt like slimer from the Ghostbusters.
Anyway, I actually started writing this post to complain about something completely different, something about going to The Reef for dinner with all the tat bros and our friend Becca finding a mothereffing BOLT in her salad*, but then I sat down and my stupid leg hurt a bunch. So this is what you got instead.
*Yeah, a gigantic olde tyme bolt that looked like it was from the industrial revolution era. Check it out. Later, the chef came by and Cody jokingly told him there was a reciprocating saw in his hot sauce. I laughed for hours. Still laughing in fact.
Needless to say, after the terrible service we got, all the attitude I got in booking the reservation for twelve people, all the attitude when we arrived (because we were fifteen minutes early?), the super slow service, the gross drinks, the flat beer, the ‘free shooters’ we got after the bolt incident that were really just juice I swear, the lack of apology from anyone except our really nice poor server, and the gratuity still included in the bill and all of us still paying full price, none of us are ever going back there.
That’s The Reef, a Jamaican restaurant on Yates street, Victoria B.C.
Other than that though, we had a really interesting day yesterday.
First Roberto was tattooed by Gerry.
Then Gerry was tattooed by Roberto.
Then Sarah was tattooed by Roberto.
Then Becca was tattooed by Roberto.
Then Savannah was tattooed by Cody.
Then Colin was tattooed by Gerry.
Then we went for food and got ‘screwed’. Get it?
In the weirdest place ever. Pics to come. I did not sing. Here’s a few I stole from Sarah for now. Also, the photo above is stolen from her.
p.s. you don’t see those alcohol containers. There’s NO BOOZE allowed in there. The sign on the door said no, but the way they gave us a locking room for an hour in the back with no supervision on a Saturday night said yes.