i’m sure you are all dying to know how my first day back at big-girl school went, so i won’t keep you guessing. here it is, miniscule detail by miniscule detail:
it all started at 6:30am when my alarm went off.
it started again nine minutes later when my alarm went off again.
nine minutes after that i rolled my grouchy ass out of bed and made some delicious coffee. you don’t want to hear about my agonizing search for matching socks, so we’ll just fast forward to me running for a bus and juuuuuuust barely catching it. it’s not my usual bus, mind you, but i saw it and it said “downtown” on it. also, it rocked my socks off.
first of all, it was a double decker.
secondly, everybody was all fancy, wearing ties and suits and reading newspapers. oh yeah, the bus gives out free newspapers at 7:30 in the morning! who knew?
got off downtown, caught a university bus, made it to the school at 9:20. i forgot what a zoo the uni is on the first day in the fall.
i swear there were like 800 eighteen-year-olds all lost and scared, but somehow there with five of their closest high-school friends.
they all had matching skinny jeans tucked into either rain boots or converse high tops (it was raining) and plaid workshirts on.
that’s the style now, i guess? plaid?
oh, wait. i forgot i live in canada. we are all lumberjacks here. please discount the previous confusion over the plaid.
so on the way to class i thought to myself “pardon me, self, but did you remember to bring any paper or notebooks, on which to write?” (i’m very formal with myself apparently)
and then i was all “of course i did, it’s right…no, wait, i must have put it…i wouldn’t have forgotten…”
there was NO TIME TO BUY ANY PAPER. i had to climb the 3409850348 flights of stairs (actually three) to class and, you know, have some before-class-begins schmoozing time…make some school friends.
luckily for me, somebody asked me “um, is this class, like, taught, like, in english or, um, like, spanish?”
and i would totally make fun of her here, except it was a valid question because it changes from year to year, and also, i think i answered with “uuuuuuh…hmm. i don’t know. i totally looked it up but i forgot HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” (a little too much laughing for a first conversation)
then i borrowed some paper from her.
we’re totally gonna be BFFs. i can just tell.
the professor for this class shall henceforth be known as PROF1. she is happy and even though she said the class is all english and you don’t need to know spanish, she spoke in espanglish the entire hour.
she gave us a chilling speech on the H1N1 virus! eeek! there are hand sanitizer stations located at the end of every hallway and maybe you should bring one of those paper masks to class like they gave out in the airports in buenos aires…
then she asked us questions, trying to trip us up and bust us out of our stupid northern heads, like “is brazil in iberoamerica?” and “is quebec part of latin america?” and “is mexico in south america?) haha. no, seriously. she was like “don’t be like george bush, after he took a vacation in mexico he said he enjoyed his time in south america”.
i had an hour break after that, which consisted of coffee, a brie croissant and tetris on my phone. and listening to the hustle and bustle of ONE MILLION LOST SOULS … one jackass came over to the little table i was sitting at when i was playing tetris and POKED ME IN THE SHOULDER.
i hit pause, and looked up expectantly, because, you know, usually when you poke someone in the shoulder you KNOW THEM…this was not the case.
just some jackass.
“hey. what’s your tattoo?”
WTF does that even mean? it’s a tattoo. that’s all.
also, WHICH ONE?
anyway i just said “mumble mumble tattoozoo” and he went away.
then i was off to class 2. in a dimly lit room with all the shades drawn over the windows, so we were all in sort of a pit of dim yellow hell.
the professor for this class was in india for some undetermined reason, and had her T.A. teach us. when the prof comes back i’ll call her PROF2
we got another swine flu warning. “if you’re sick, stay home. do not come to class. the computer labs are especially germy”
other than that, it was boring. homework tonight was reading a long-ass diary entry by christopher colombus about pineapples. yay? (no) (although i did learn the word for “palate” and the word for “irrigate” and also a word that doesn’t really translate but kind of means “meticulous-ed”, like “made something meticulously”)
the next class was taught by PROF3, an italian lady who is fluent in every language on earth, maybe. she’s funny. she’s cute.
she gave us the swine flu speech and told us we better not e-mail her because we’re sick and then come to her office hours to get our homework. “if you’re sick, i don’t want to see you. i have kids.”
…noticing a trend here?
in this class was a guy i went on that mexican exchange with in 2007. i have only run into him once since then, so that’s kind of exciting. he annoyed the hell out of me when i first met him … now he seems normal enough. so that’s something.
the rest of the class practically is all one group of students who went on the exact same exchange last year. weird. i bet we have some of the same mexi-friends.
then i came home.
*note* don’t worry, not every school post shall be so long-winded and boring